What does being in love mean to you? No really, think about that for a minute, before you answer.
I thought I knew what love, or being in love, meant to me, but I was wrong. Maybe you’ve got it all figured out and you’re good. If that’s the case, then I’m pleased for you! But I didn’t…and I don’t.
Nothing is mysterious, no human relation. Except love.
Susan Sontag
You see, when I was 16, my parents separated. It was messy, as was their entire marriage. My mother and I moved out, she promptly sat me down and through her bitterness, cautioned me to “never, ever become dependent on a man!” So, like an obedient daughter, I didn’t. I remained detached and aloof, just enough to protect myself from heartbreak, through every relationship I’ve ever had, my entire life.
Until recently.
I met and began to date an absolutely amazing guy. We hadn’t been dating very long when he professed his love for me. This wasn’t a new experience – a man expressing his love to me, but this time was different. This time I felt something for him I’d never felt before. Mercy sakes! Talk about uncharted territory. Well it took a while, but eventually, I returned the sentiment.
What I didn’t realize, was that I had all kinds of expectations attached to being in love.
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only with what you are expecting to give – which is everything.
Katherine Hepburn
My brain was programmed to a certain definition of love.
You know the one. Meet, fall in love, get married (or in this day and age, perhaps move in together first), buy the house, complete with white picket fence. Yes, that’s the one!
If he’s in love me, he must want those things, right? And if I’m in love with him, then I must want those things, too. After all, that’s what people who are in love do, isn’t it?
Or maybe not!
Maybe that’s right for some people and maybe eventually, it’ll be right for us, I don’t know. But the beauty of it is, we don’t need to know, not right now.
We have a fantastic friendship, an abundance of fun together, a super cool combined group of friends, a compatible approach to parenting, a healthy respect for one another’s time and space, and a bodice-ripping sex life! 😉 So yeah, things are pretty great, just as they are.
Am I “in love” with him? Honestly? I don’t know. Because I had to “fall in love” to realize I didn’t actually know what being in love really meant…to me.
I don’t know if he’s the perfect man for me – my forever, but he’s my Mr. Right now and right now, he’s perfect for me.
And I love that about him!
The giving of love is an education in itself.
Eleanor Roosevelt