According to my grandmother, two people should know one another through all seasons before considering spending a lifetime together. I suppose one could interpret seasons in various ways, but I think the lesson here is it takes time to determine whether or not two people have the desire and compatibility to build a life together.
Even with today’s modern online dating approach, I believe this concept of prudently entering into a romantic relationship is as sensible now as it was for our grandparents, but apparently this guy believes otherwise.
“Hi Gorgeous!”
Although my first instinct is that an opening message this uninspired doesn’t even deserve a response, I have a personal policy that I respond to all messages, as futile as it may seem.
In this case, he happens to be gorgeous himself, so I respond in kind.
“Hi Handsome!”
“Having any luck on here?”
“Well, you messaged me, so I guess the answer is yes.” [insert winky face here]
Hey, I can lay on the charm when I need to, but I’ll skip ahead to the good part. After exchanging a few flirty messages in rapid succession, I set my laptop aside, visit the ladies room and pour myself a glass of wine. I return approximately 10 minutes later to 3 messages from aforementioned handsome guy – one containing an appropriately charming response to my last message, followed by two more:
“Where’d you go? I thought we had a good thing going here.”
“Sorry sweetie, I’m out, you’re obviously distracted and I only date women who are talking to one man at a time.”
As you can imagine, I’m a little taken aback and to be honest, I experience a fleeting moment of disappointment. I thought this guy could be the one! Haha, just kidding. (Hmmm, potential future blog post?) Anyway, my second, third and fourth thoughts are here’s a boy with control issues, abandonment issues and self-esteem issues! Ok, so perhaps a fifth thought that it appears I’m dealing with a boy and not a man.
So, I ponder for a moment. Do I accept the obvious and simply move on or do I respond?
Well, I’m feeling a bit cheeky, so I respond.
“First of all, sweetie, I was in the ladies room and then pouring myself a glass of wine. Second, if it’s your policy to only date women who are talking to one man at a time, may I suggest you try messaging a woman who only GETS one message at a time?! Because in the 10 minutes I was away from my computer, there are about that number of new messages in my inbox. However, if you choosing to message me is an indication, it appears you seek a confident, attractive, healthy, successful, independent woman. In that case, women like me expect a lot more than 15 minutes of online witty repartee before committing to an exclusive relationship. Take care and I wish you all the best in your search.”
…and block!