I’m a very literal person, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I communicate in this manner and I assume others do too. However, that is not always the case, as I’m sure we have all experienced.
Literally speaking, it is impossible to have a FWB relationship, unless you are already friends. That would be like saying I’m going to have a cup of tea with sugar, but I’ll skip the tea and just sit here, with my giant spoon, and eat the sugar right out of the sugar bowl. That’s no longer a cup of tea with sugar, that’s just sugar!
Likewise, friends with benefits, if you’re not friends, is just benefits!
Even grammatically speaking, “friends” occurs before “benefits” in the statement.
If I’ve never met you, you could be my stranger with benefits, but you cannot be my friend with benefits, because you’re not my friend. See what I did there?
And fellas, seriously, what is up with the whole “what are you looking for?” question?
In my experience, this is the most common and predictable phrase heard from a man, particularly a younger man, online dating. If I had a dime for the number of times I’ve been asked this question, well I’d be rich and beautiful! 😉
In true cheeky fashion, my typical response to this question is “it’s a dating site, what do you think I’m looking for, a job?”
And the follow-up question from the guy is typically: “how do you feel about FWB?”
Shocking, right? I know, it surprises me every time. NOT!
Listen up gentlemen (and I use that term loosely), I’m going to reveal a little secret to you: if you have a desire to share intimacy with a particular lady, you will have far more success concentrating your efforts on stimulating her mind than her libido. And who knows, you might discover that she has a heck of a lot more to offer than…sugar.
In my opinion.