Dirty Talk: Subtle and Suggestive Examples

Dirty talk has always made me feel awkwardly shy, which is totally out of character for me to be shy about anything. Awkward, on the other hand, well let’s just say I don’t need to flirt, I seduce with my awkwardness. But back to my point, I believe the main reason dirty talk is foreign to me is because I don’t curse in my day-to-day speech.

On those rare occasions, where a lover expresses the desire to hear dirty talk, I have a tendency to tuck my chin into my chest, lower my voice and utter something clumsy and uninspired, like:
“Imma gonna kiss you so good…and stuff!”

I dated a guy one time, who was so into dirty talk, that I went out and purchased a “how-to” book! Yeah, it didn’t help. I still have the book, but not the guy.

I suspect I’m not the only one who is unsure of how to go about talking dirty, without feeling ridiculous.

Imagine this, if you will – after an entirely appropriate period of dating, you’re between the sheets with an uber hot guy, who’s about as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree and the kind of sexy that makes your ovaries ache (like it’s his job or something) and he says:

“Talk dirty to me, baby!”

You instantly freeze, like a wet tongue on the monkey bars at recess. Right?!?!

What do you say? What does he want you to say? What if you say too much? What if you say too little? What if he laughs?

It’s daunting, believe me, I know! And if you don’t believe me, ask the uber hot sexy (like it’s his job) tall drink of water I recently said “thank you” to, after he…well, you know.

Poured me a glass of wine!!! What were you thinking?

Oh, by the way, I heard what you’d do for a Klondike bar and that’s disgusting!
Anyway, I bought you 5 of them.

I digress…where were we? Oh yes, dirty talk!

According to experts, a neurochemical reaction occurs when we whisper, moan, or scream sexy phrases to our lover.

So, to get us started, I’ve come up with a few ‘clean’ dirty talk phrases that are sure to illicit just such a reaction:

“I want you so bad!”
“I thought about you while I was showering this morning.”
“I’ve fantasized about doing this to you since the moment I met you.”
“Just hearing your voice sends shivers down my spine.”
“It drives me wild when you look at me like that.”
“You look so sexy when you do that.”
“That feels amazing, please don’t stop!”
“I love having sex with you.”
“I wish we could stay in bed all day.”

And a bonus, for awkward measure:
“Imma gonna kiss you so good…and stuff!”

So, my lovelies – get out there and talk dirty!
I know I will, after an entirely appropriate period of dating, of course.

Just remember, sometimes being subtle and suggestive when you talk dirty to your lover can be more intense and powerful than being aggressive and explicit.

In my opinion.

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